I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
