Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
