we're blogging at a bar
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Boobs are out for the taking
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
