sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
