My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
