i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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