Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just pee around me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
