5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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