He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I could fuck to npr.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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