when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
