i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
