She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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