I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
