My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
