I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
