We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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