Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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