This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
