he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
