It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
