I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
