Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
