i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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