I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
