are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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