I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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