the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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