You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
