Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
