Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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