Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
barbara walters just said penis...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
