I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
