she was so not down for the gang bang
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
