I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
