we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
