And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
