return my video game
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
