can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
