when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
