If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
