I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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