You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
