Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
