How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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