Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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