He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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