Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
