i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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