Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
