Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
it hurts more in the daytime
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
