But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
