im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
